Prime Minister Rudd and dishwashers.

The Prime Minister has revealed that he knows a little bit about cricket, but practically nothing about dishwashers. But dishwashers were irrelevant to Rudd's election campaign - from the very outset, he knew Howard was washed-up.

Stop those racists.

The cricket authorities have created a hotline to put the heat on racists who abuse our dear friends the Indian cricketers. And too right, I say - give 'em bloody curry!

Prime Minister Rudd and cricket?

Kevin Rudd is remarkable - not only does he recognise a Chinaman as a Googly ... he can hold a bloody conversation with him too!

On your marks!

We don't have to WIN the human race ... just SAVE it.

Three Wise Men at Bethlehem

I've heard The Three Wise Men were there to sign up a promising star replacement for his poor old dad ... who hadn't scored in yonks.

Australia's new Opposition Leader

Dr Brendan Nelson is the one doctor who will probably never tell us that we're not getting enough Greens.